Submitted to a Candid World

Bill O'Reilly (c. 3001)

Several years back, Bill O’Reilly unfortunately discovered that, for certain subsets of the population, conflict and persecution sell better than love and inclusion. In a sad attempt to pander to this demographic, O’Reilly invented the “war on Christmas,” the central theory of which is that the religious pluralism inflicted upon America by (God help us) “different” people impermissibly generalizes the holiday season, tragically displacing mentions of Jesus in retail outlets and common conversation in favor of abstracted benedictions like “happy holidays.” To the Culture Warrior, this replacement, by failing to mention Him specifically, is a sin against God.

O’Reilly never makes the allegation that this diminishment of public Christianity somehow interferes with private worship, or that it dilutes the simple beauty of the season – family, friends, love, togetherness, “peace on Earth, goodwill to men.” Nor could he. If there is a casualty in the “War on Christmas,” it is neither peace on earth, nor goodwill to men, but only Christianity’s perceived right to be the exclusive bringer of these emotions. The “War on Christmas” isn’t about values, Christian or otherwise: it’s just a new way to couch simpering whines about the loss of Christian hegemony in the rhetoric of discrimination.

Seemingly lost on O’Reilly, too, is the ridiculous irony of fighting a “War on Christmas” to defend holiday cheer. To dispense anger, scorn, and ill-will in defense of Christian primacy is like valuing the messenger above the message, or putting the sleigh before the magically-illuminated reindeer. What matters in the holiday season isn’t how it’s celebrated, but that it’s celebrated. By turning Christmas into another venue for asserting Christian complaints about their lost spotlight, O’Reilly forgets the real “reason for the season,” which is neither the Republican Party, nor conservatism, nor Christianity, nor even Jesus Christ, but rather the peace, happiness, and exhortations to human brotherhood that together amount to Jesus’ enduring message. By effectively weaponizing the holiday season, O’Reilly ends up working a far greater subversion of the holiday season than any blasé Jesus-less Walmart benediction ever could.

Before partisans like O’Reilly clamor for all of America to celebrate Jesus in their words, they would do well to first remember his words in their hearts. Expanding the Culture War is no way to celebrate the season of peace. Only rarely does someone miss the point so spectacularly.