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Entertainment
LEAKED: Bush’s Farewell Address for Tonight
EXCLUSIVE: per Reuters, Huffington Post, et al, still-president George W. Bush will deliver his farewell address to the nation tonight on primetime. In 1796, Washington set the bar fairly high for this manner of oratory. This, of course, gives rise to any number of questions: Will George W. Bush live up to Washington’s tradition? Will he admit error in the failures that plagued his presidency? Will he finally acknowledge nuance in public discourse? On any other blog, you’d have to wait until tonight to see. Not here. As a Submitted to a Candid World exclusive, please enjoy our leaked copy:
Update: the real address is here.
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PRES. GEORGE W. BUSH: My fellow Americans,
Eight years ago we embarked together on a collective experiment designed to settle, once and for all, the issue of whether a self-styled simple man could govern and administer the world’s greatest nation, with nothing more than a wry, folksy sense of wisdom, a few handpicked neo-conservative technocrats, and the blessings of Providence Jesus. The answer, it turns out, is no. But not for my lack of trying.
Moar Sci-Fi: Bring Back Star Trek!
Afternoon posts return with serious content tomorrow. To celebrate V-Confluence day, though, an impassioned plea to Paramount Pictures.
When Battlestar Galactica goes off the air this spring (its last half-season debuts on Friday), a strange thing will come to pass: setting aside the niche-appeal new Stargate franchise, for the first time in nearly a decade, primetime TV will be without a mass-appeal science fiction series. Battlestar is hardly the narrow nerds-only space opera that primetime staples like The Office & Big Bang Theory make it out to be: even the NY Times admits as much. It’s been a show of a caliber and societal importance not seen since Star Trek: the Next Generation. But, with the end of the last Star Trek series three years ago (Enterprise), Battlestar is the sole carrier of this torch.
Curiously, when Battlestar ends unreplaced, it will not be for lack of active talent or an interested viewership: the wide success of J.J. Abrams’ Lost and Moore & Eick’s Battlestar have proved both the existence of strong new writing talent, capable of tackling the grittier & more relevant edge of science fiction, and the potential for mass appeal & commercial success in such content. Rather, the problem lies in a failure of cooperation and trust. Paramount Pictures has guarded its rights to the Star Trek franchise with notorious zealotry, to the point of actively ignoring opportunities for profit. When Enterprise entered its fourth (and final) season in 2005, Battlestar‘s Moore & Eick offered to write and produce a new season – at no cost to Paramount, and with a waiver of any legal “ownership” of the produced content. Moore & Eick just wanted a crack at the genre: but Paramount rebuffed the team, and Enterprise died without a successor. For Paramount to ignore what is (by all accounts) a rising public interest in science fiction, and neglect a chance to fill the power vacuum left by Battlestar (and, to a lesser extent, Atlantis) is borderline negligent. Shareholders should be angry.
Fans may get a break in May, with the widely-anticipated, Abrams-produced Star Trek XI. Trek movies suffer from a notorious tendency to backfire horrifically – hopefully minimized in this case by Abrams’ equally strong penchant for genius – but a successful film would almost certainly ignite sequels, and could finally convince Paramount of the potential for successful televised Battlestar-style, pseudo-noir Star Trek. Any such renaissance would be a vindication of Roddenberry’s belief in the potential for science fiction’s moral authority, and a long-overdue ritornello to meaningful Star Trek, complete with its unique, skeptically optimistic perspective on humanity. Long shot, yes. But…
How Will We Know? A Few Signs that Obama Has Gone Too Far Right
As a follow up to Tuesday’s post, urging left-leaning Democrats (like ourselves) not to worry too soon about any alleged “rightward turns” among President-Elect Obama’s appointments and policies, I’ve compiled this short list setting out a few “warning signs.” If the Obama administration comes too close to any of these, it’s cause for concern. Before then, though, let’s relax.
So, without further ado, the top ten signs Barack Obama is moving too far towards Bush:
- What would Yoo do?: after hearing about a planned expansion of executive authority on the news, even John Yoo, David Addington, and Dick Cheney start to look worried.
- Please hold for spook: in his weekly radio address, Obama admits to secretly continuing Bush’s domestic wiretapping program, and announces that any outgoing calls within the United States will now have to “hold for an NSA agent” before being connected.
- Biblical law: four words. Associate. Justice. Pat. Robertson.
- Cowboy diplomacy: George Bush was content to give the German Chancellor a neckrub. Determined not to be outdone, President Obama slaps British Prime Minister Gordon Brown on the rear after a particularly productive G8 meeting.
- Love it or leave it: terming his new healthcare policy the “War on Disease,” Obama and surrogates assert that healthcare is now within the President’s unquestionable “commander-in-chief” powers, and lambast critics for “emboldening the enemy.”
- Preemptive strike: after hearing stories about contaminants in South America-grown tomatoes, Obama orders a preemptive strike on Peru to prevent proliferation of biological weapons.
- Fair game: concerned that CIA intelligence may not support the need for a war against Peru (see #6), Vice President Joe Biden and Robert Novak “out” the entire clandestine service.
- Drill, baby, drill: Alaska? Oh, you must mean Chevron Site #50.
- Teach the controversy: Obama slashes NASA’s budget, and orders it to spend its remaining funds to either (1) send manned missions to heaven, or (2) prove that America is the center of the solar system.
- Justice Kennedy approves: building on Bush’s example, rather than pushing to overrule Roe outright, Obama’s Department of Health and Human Services just tries to chip away at the right by regulation. The latest? Women seeking an abortion must watch Juno, and four consecutive episodes of Seventh Heaven, before being allowed to undergo an abortion.
Palin and McCain, a Week Later
Sarah Palin blames Bush and, more specifically, the problem shocker of a Republican debt presidency, while openly pondering her role in 2012: “Show me where the open door is and even if it’s cracked up a little bit, maybe I’ll just plow right on through that and maybe prematurely plow through it, but don’t let me miss an open door.” You can’t make this stuff up. Meanwhile, McCain plans his first post-election late-night appearance: I for one look forward to seeing him back on The Daily Show.
Even Bill Kristol Can’t Stand the Kool-Aid Anymore
In one of the sounder drubbings Stewart has ever handed Kristol (watch it here), Jon gets Bill to admit that Senator Obama will be a fairly tame president, the “OMG he knows scary people and he’s a socialist” theme is essentially a sham, and that even he doesn’t think McCain will win.
Snubbing Sarah
John McCain took a cue from Dwight of “The Office” fame (YouTube!), shunning his running mate by – shame! – not sitting next to her on the campaign bus! I’d just die. Palin, in the meantime, made a bold move, and condemned Senator Ted Stevens, urging him to resign – despite the fact that she’ll, in all likelihood, have to work with him next year as Governor of Alaska.
Be Excited! 30 Rock Comes Early!
It’s sort of like Christmas coming four days early, just for you. Do you wait to celebrate with the rest of the world, or gather your fellow Christmas fans and watch it on a Sunday night?
I’ll let you know what I decided in 21 minutes and 35 seconds.
Sarah Palin, Straight-Talking Hockey Mom from Main-Street-Not-Wall-Street: “I’m Not Going to Label Myself Anything”
Sarah Palin’s most recent reply to the question of whether or not she’s a feminist:
I’m not gonna label myself anything, Brian, and I think that’s what annoys a lot of Americans, especially in a political campaign, is to start trying to label different parts of America different, different backgrounds, different … I’m not going to put a label on myself.
Said the small-town Hockey Mom from Main Street (not Wall Street!), the maverick who’s a friend of “real America” and hates those defeatist liberals. That’s Sarah for you – she listens to Joe Six Packs like Joe the Plumber and isn’t afraid to stand up to those socialist big-city elitist liberals, and she doesn’t need to “label different parts of America different” to do it either!
No, no labels – or, apparently, adverbs – for Sarah Palin. As a Washington Outsider not liked by those inside-the-beltway Georgetown cocktail parties, labels are beneath her small-town simple main street straight talk! She may say outrageously inflammatory things – like saying that Obama’s “pals around with terrorists” – but that’s just calling a spade a spade! Domestic terrorism is a black & white issue!
Except for abortion clinic bombing. That’s… a grey area.
Brian Williams: Is an abortion clinic bomber a terrorist under this definition?
Sarah Palin: (Exasperated sigh.) There’s no question that Bill Ayers by his own admittance was one who thought to destroy our U.S. Capitol and our Pentagon. That is a domestic terrorist. There is no question there. Now others who would want to engage in harming innocent Americans or facilities that it would be unacceptable to, I don’t know if you’re gonna use the word “terrorist” there.
Awww… plumber.
For Shame: How Sarah Palin Blurred the Thin Red Line Between “Anti-Elitism” and Open Enmity
Palin's message to non-Republicans
I’m not convinced by her apology. There is no excuse for Sarah Palin’s dishonorable campaign trail behavior, and McCain’s dishonorable approval of the same.
Since her speech at the Republican National Convention, I’ve used this space to express my deep concerns about Sarah Palin’s divisive, mean-spirited rhetoric concerning not just Democratic political causes, but Democratic people. In a trend that began that night, Palin’s barely-masked disdain for the urban poor and the city “elite” have managed to transform her vitriolic speeches from the traditional (but nonetheless worrying) Republican anti-elitist mantra, into a form of reverse elitism, a blatant call to arms & an attempt to set America’s “small towns” against its cities and stigmatize the metropoles as modern-day Sodom & Gomorrahs. This may play well among (some) small towners, but it’s bad for America. Shockingly lacking in the McCain/Palin vocabulary is any attempt to appeal to the best of the American people, or any semblance of a focus on a unity of American purpose. When the Republican campaign openly redefines his “country” as “his voters” – recall that the only “real Virginia” is the part that votes for the Republicans – McCain’s “Country First” slogan begins to acquire more than its normal degree of hollowness.
No doubt the Republican “divide and conquer” strategy has become more obvious as the party’s electoral prospects decline: GOP candidates across the country, now, have openly taken up the culture war trumpet (a new one yesterday – with audio!). The GOP has shown us in defeat what I, for one, always suspected them of in victory: they have less of a concern for the marginalization of small towns, and more of a suspicious hatred of “big towns.” Only one candidate in this election is willing to put his country ahead of divisive hyperpartisan rhetoric, and if the Republicans can’t do the same, it’s time for them to find the exit.
Sarah Palin whines, with characteristic mendacity, that “just once, it would be nice if Barack Obama said he wanted [America] to win.” Senator McCain: just once, it would be nice if you’d give a speech where you don’t hatefully divide Americans along the old culture-war lines. Your opponent already has. Stop being a party hack, and for God’s sake, be a statesman.
And how sad is it that Jon Stewart is the only one willing to take McCain & Palin to task for creating such a caustic climate?
John McCain and Sarah Palin – good riddance to you both, the latter for stirring up such hate, but more the former for allowing it. Senator McCain has squandered in defeat the statesmanlike quality that brought his campaign back to life so many times in the past. I for one won’t be crying when you both return to your pre-campaign offices in disgrace.
Full “Daily Show” episode embedded below the line for your viewing pleasure: just skip to 5:30 or so to keep watching.
Stewart v. Palin
Earlier this week, Jon Stewart ”colorfully” called out Sarah Palin for her sickening commitment to the reverse-elitist idea that our cities are somehow “un-American.” Stewart has now… *ahem*… “expanded” on his remarks, adding, “F*** all y’all.” I’m no fan of expletives as a form of political discourse. In fact, I rigorously avoid them on this site. But, here, we face the distinct possibility that Stewart’s response is actually more mature than Palin’s original contention. Seriously now, which is worse: defining “America” as including only your voters, or mocking the same? And, more importantly, is Palin gone yet?
