Submitted to a Candid World
Humor
Minor Developments
First, GOP chairman Michael Steele started a blog on the newly redesigned GOP.com website. The title? “What Up.” No. I am not kidding. The entire site crashed under the weight of people rushing to laugh ’til they cry, but Wonkette has pictures. Apparently, hip-hop street-blogging skillz can only do so much. Dawg.
Second, New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, herself a lesbian, took the weekend to speak in Washington at the National Equality March:
[L]ook me in the eye and tell me I am less of a person that you are; look me in the eye and tell me my family is worth less than yours; look me in the eye and tell me I am not an American.
Let’s hear it for Manhattan Democrats!
Carnival of the Liberals #94: The Ultimate (?) July 4th Edition
Sadly, by “ultimate,” I mean “potentially last.”
Leo, our glorious leader, is having trouble finding hosts. And, the Carnival is suffering from the general malaise which has, lately, plagued the middle-tiers of the progressive blogosphere. Although there’ll always be a place for blogs like Kos, ThinkProgress, Wonkette, TPM, Crooks & Liars, etc., a number of small and mid-range blogs (like this one) found their voices in the day-by-day outrages of the Bush administration and, with his fading, have seen their traffic fade as well.
This blog will not close today, nor anytime soon. But others have, and still more have stopped submitting. So, it’s time to take stock. I strongly believe that there is a place for mid-range blogs like this one, and those whose submissions power each “Carnival of the Liberals.” We fill niches that generalist blogs like the much-loved powerhouses noted above cannot, or do not. As an aggregation tool, then, I find Carnival of the Liberals indispensable. But if there is another way to bring our voices together, perhaps we should explore it, or rediscover this one. Hosts, frequent readers, please leave your thoughts on this thread.
That said, I give you this latest edition, premised on the basic question, “what does the American promise mean to you?” As July 4th approaches, and the nation’s 233rd year begins, we owe it to ourselves to remind each other and the American populace at large that liberal ideals, like progress and equality, are what brought this nation into being, and those same liberal ideals are what sustains it. Like our founding generation, we embrace the future, rather than shirking from it. So, what does America mean to you?
- TRUTH. Earlier this year, the Supreme Court continued its move rightward by sharply restricting a defendant’s right to introduce potentially exculpatory DNA evidence. How can we as a nation defend justice to a watching world, when we refuse to seek it out ourselves? (via the always excellent “Scientist, Interrupted”)
- COMPASSION. When we rush to condemn missionaries, we’re missing some of the point; but when the rest of the world lauds them, they’re missing the entire damn thing. (via Greg Laden)
- HONESTY. Sex ed works. Abstinence doesn’t. The anti-gay lobby lies about both, and more. These are the facts. (via “Winter Harvest”)
- INTEGRITY. “Socialized” health care is neither socialized, nor… wait. It is health care. And good health care, at that! Don’t let people misrepresent the experience of other countries to the contrary. (via “Staring at Empty Pages”)
- FREEDOM – EVEN TO ERR. In the battle against oppression, we should avoid becoming the oppressors, ourselves. Hence, don’t ban the burka — but don’t encourage a submissive, anti-feminist mindset, either. (via Russel Blackford)
- COMEDY. God bless any nation that permits – even encourages! – the mockery of its leaders. Oh, and Rush Limbaugh. In limerick form. (via “Mad Kane”)
- ACTIVISM. When we celebrate the birth of the gay rights movement, we’re celebrating what was, essentially, a riot. Take from that what you will. (via Greta Christina)
- FAMILY VALUES. Never let anyone tell you that “liberals” hate “family values.” (via the inimitable PalMD, leading, as always, by example)
- MORALITY. Real morality compels acceptance, not suspicion and hate. (via “TUIB Guy,” now with moar Pres. Bartlet!)
- THE RULE OF LAW. Strange, isn’t it, that “judicial activism” is a virtue, not a sin, when engaged in by conservative jurists? (via… me!)
I hope this isn’t the last Carnival of the Liberals. We’ve done excellent things together, all submitters and bloggers, past, present, and future. Now is not the time to stop. We won an election, yes, but as a great man once said — “break’s over.” Get back to writing, hosting, and submitting!
And, as always -
A very happy Fourth of July!
The Objective “Case” Against Gay Marriage
Yes – it’s really this ridiculous.
As I’ve said before, I understand caution. Sea changes in society are scary, even if there’s no real reason for them to be. But the notion that gay marriages are somehow in a zero sum relationship with heterosexual (ahem – “opposite”) marriages is just as ridiculous as Toles makes it sound.
Short on Blogging Inspiration? Glenn Beck Is Here to Help.
I ain’t gonna lie: Sometimes the stream of pithiness runs a little dry. Fields of subject matter lie fallow. The winds of inspiration are still, and I simply come up empty for a topic with which to thrill and amaze you loyal readers.
In those emergency situations, I turn to one who has become a sort of savior (Isn’t he, though?!) … Glenn Beck, but of course!
Via Salon‘s War Room, the intensity that is Beck and his hardhitting analysis can drive even learned experts and philosophical allies to lightheadedness and fainting spells:
What is especially striking about this clip is how Beck asks several times for someone to come and “help him” (guest David Bruckner, who had fainted) but that crew stood around and only timidly approached to offer aid as Beck announced a commercial break.
Though it is less fantastic than the reality of the first clip, here is a funny and oh-so-accurate piece from CurrentTV (again, via War Room) where only the convergence of a Sexual Sadist, Jesus, and Death can reflect the nuance Beck offers to the public discourse. (Be sure to read the scrolling headlines.)
Killer Pot and Protection from Vampires
Red State Update is one of my favorite indulgences. Jackie and Dunlap crack me up, and since Ames is on a top-secret mission this weekend, leaving me “in charge,” allow me to share this guilty pleasure with you.
Ben & Jerry’s Gives Obama a Flavor, and Ponders Bush’s
We’re a little late to this party, but apparently Ben & Jerry’s renamed their butter pecan flavor to “Yes, Pecan!” in honor of President Obama: although Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream remains my runaway favorite (come on, chocolate cone pieces!), I approve.
As part of our national “healing,” you might approve, too, of this list of potential names for a George W. Bush-themed Ben & Jerry’s flavor! While I dearly wish I could take credit for this delicious snark, alas, I merely encountered it on a friend’s Facebook page. Enjoy:
- Grape Depression
- The Housing Crunch
- Abu Grape
- Cluster Fudge
- Nut’n Accomplished
- Good Riddance You Lousy Motherfu***r… Swirl
- Iraqi Road
- Chock ‘n Awe
- WireTapioca
- Impeach Cobbler
- Guantanmallow
- imPeachmint
- Heck of a Job, Brownie!
- Neocon Politan
- RockyRoad to Fascism
- The Reese’s-cession
- Cookie D’oh!
- Nougalar Proliferation
- Death by Chocolate… and Torture
- Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
- Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
- Credit Crunch
- Mission Pecanplished
- Country Pumpkin
- Chunky Monkey in Chief
- WMDelicious
- Chocolate Chimp
- Bloody Sundae
- Caramel Preemptive Stripe
- I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands . . . with nuts
Field Report: Ames on the Street
Ames just sent this in from the front lines: Apparently, Republican poll watchers like to imitate FBI agents: dark suits, grey sedan …
Of course, poll-watcher attire is widely varied. Some opt for the paramilitary look, but worry not, the McCain-Palin team are on it, spinning away (from a recent press release):
The McCain-Palin Campaign believes there should be a zero-tolerance policy for voter fraud and voter intimidation. Through a combination of news accounts and first-hand reports, the following cases of voter irregularities have been documented:
PENNSYLVANIA
In Philadelphia, PA, Black Panthers Are Intimidating Voters By Standing Outside Of A Polling Station While Holding A Night Stick. Fox News’ Rick Leventhal: “I do not even know where to begin, but we have reached a polling place in the city of Philadelphia. One of the two black panthers who was allegedly blocking the door is standing right over here, [and] accused us of intimidating voters because we were here with a camera and microphone. He did not answer questions, other people here have confirmed that another person in black panther attire was holding a night stick and apparently the concern was that they were intimidating people who were trying to go inside to vote. A republican poll observer actually called the police, the police were here and we miss[ed] them, they came and left.”
Leave it to the Republicans to play the victim in voter intimidation (Mr. Pot, I believe you know Mr. Kettle…), and schluff the race card.
A Little Levity: Journey to McCain’s Brain
It’s kinda like the old Disneyland ride Mission to Mars (I’m dating myself.), except it’s fun …
McCain’s Brain at the first debate
McCain’s Brain at the second debate (my personal favorite)
McCain’s Brain at the third debate
You’ll be humming the theme song long after the last polls have closed …
McCain Begging from Investment Bankers: Potential for Humor
If John McCain sent you a prepaid & addressed return envelope, attached to a solicitation for donations, what would you send him? This is the problem faced by Phil (h/t philfiles), whose friend, a Wall Street financier, just got hit up for donations. You know your campaign’s in trouble when (1) you’re asking for money from employees of a firm you just voted to bail out, and (2) you can’t trust your supporters to be excited enough to pay for postage.
Learn to Write Like a PUMA!
Anyone out there still read the PUMA sites? You, too, can learn to write as incomprehensively as them, all in one easy lesson.
